I should have gotten up to write this entry at 3:30am when it flashed to the forefront of my mind. Instead I laid wide awake for the next three hours. Being a writer, I usually get up in the middle of the night if I need to purge some great or new idea for my book. But... this is just a BLOG, right?
So now, not only am I experiencing restless nights because I'm planning a wedding, but because of what I said or didn't say in my BLOG! The thought that kept me awake ...well, think about it (I'm assuming you read my last entry)- how many parents of the Bride can you recall ever spending the night at the Parents of the grooms home? For me...1! That would be us. I realized that our circumstance is most probably unique. In fact, I have really good friends that don't like to stay in the homes of their best friends much less the homes of people they hardly know. They always prefer a hotel. And not every woman has the gift of hospitality, and that's okay! So my intent was not to make some poor Mother-of-the-Groom fret over not having an extra room, much less stressing over flowers and a goody box. I hope you're laughing!
There is no etiquette or rule that says you have to invite the parents of the Bride to stay in your home. If you live in another city, and your friends throw a shower for the happy couple, it is perfectly normal to suggest a near by hotel. The point- when it's possible I highly recommend the parents should try to get together; whether in a restaurant or in one of their homes. You find out a lot about the Bride and/or the Groom when you spend time with their parents and I think it's healthy for everyone involved. Most importantly, the parents of both the Bride and the Groom should work together for the happiness and well being of their adult children who have made one of the most important decisions of their life- To get married! It's an added bonus, a huge blessing if the parents get along. With all that said, I am thankful that the Oler's and the Peele's are enjoying getting to know each other. I have to say it's most probably the Jesus in us-a kindred spirit that comes from knowing the Lord.
One of the most traditional readings from the Bible at weddings is also one of the most beautiful.
Ruth said, "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." (Ruth 1: 16) I was recently at a wedding where the Pastor continued with verse 17, "Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." Perhaps more couples should take their wedding vows this seriously. After all- it is a vow made to God and each other. Marriage is hard, especially the first year when the couple is learning to live together. For this reason, they need the support and prayers of their parents.
Bruce (my husband), has worked for a wonderful Jewish family for thirty years. We love the Stein family and have witnessed the closeness they have through the years. When a Jewish couple gets married, not only does the brides family welcome the groom, but his whole family. Instead of families dividing-they unite. Again...not every situation is the same but I like the idea and hope to adopt it.
Remember your vows.
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Marriage is a gift from God. Marriage was not designed for convenience but for three distinct purposes. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 1:24)
This one verse is key for every happy couple to be.
Tip for the day-
The leave and cleave part is MAJOR. We parents need to recognize it's not what's best for us but what is best for the Bride and Groom. We will need to be selfless at times to keep harmony as our children begin their own family. They will take a little of this and a little of that from both families as they figure out their own way. Believe me...I'm finding out for my self ; I have to step back when I sooooo badly want to step up. "Lord, help me let go." is often my prayer.
We are rejoicing! Our daughter is getting married!!!
The Mother-of-the-Bride
Read all my Blogs at www.chandra-peele.blogspot.com
www.chandrapeele.com
No comments:
Post a Comment